Today has been a rollercoaster ride of emotions. The hardest part being sharing them. I skipped my second class because I felt I needed time away, I had coffee with Justin and it was unbarable. I called Lauren so much today and thinking I could solve or make something happen. Shes been trying to be very understanding about it all and just be there but also move on with what she needs. and I feel like I need to say things that I need to get out but  all we do is argue and cry. Its a trainwreck, I am pushing her so far away that all this will be compromised. I hung with melissa and man I will be hanging with her so much now b/c  I felt like myself for the first time in a while. I wanted to share all the feelings I had and let out at Mels with Lauren and it was a mistake. I don't want her to cry or be upset but i need to get out my feelings as well. it fucking sucks because I can't rely on Lauren like i want to. I have to get myself straight I have to I don't know how but its what I will figure out. and at this point I can't expect anything. If I could go a few days without calling her that would be great but its just to fucking hard. I got some tylenol PM tonite. I plan to sleep maybe one night of artificial rest will help me who knows. fuck I hate this so much

SCHOOL!!! a teacher today told the class that we can be directors on a studio set but to be production managers (the next in the line) we would have to go back to school and get a Masters. so me being just whatever says 
"Whoa Whoa, your saying the school that were at to be broadcast professional won't get us a career in what is essentially a higher paying job in the broadcasting field??"

teacher which is a tech. director for WCNC says:
"well its a good school and will get your foot in the door and maybe up to director but most production managers are college grads" 

WTF??? So Carolina School of Broadcasting please explain this to me!!

Saturday was a great day for me in many ways..in the morning I went with Jason Shaw to Comicon and checked out all the things they had, got some comics and got a picture with Rosario Dawson. It was great shes totally cool and very friendly...
Lauren and I also had planned a date night, starting with going to Body Works at Discovery Place. We weren't aloud to take pictures in the exhibit but we did afterward while walking through the place. Afterwards we had dinner at Maggianos and it hit the freaking spot..it was a great saturday. I love you Lauren Thank you for being the most amazing girl ever!

check out these pics:


me with Rosario Dawson...DAMN 


Lauren at Discovery Place. shes in thought DEEP thought,..Of me hahaha


Turtle..


Yellow Fish...COOOOL!!


the EEL


Lauren getting the Hermit Crab..


Caption" I can see its Legs"


Kissie ...


we want our food

I love seeing Lauren as much as possible, Shes such an amazing person. 

I also ordered my road bike this week and will have it tuesday morning YAY!!!!

todays been real busy at work..well this whole month and the end of last month have really kicked our ass.
and some weird jobs have come in, like for ex. today we had gotten a job of 4 discs that needed autopsy photos printed from a teenager who committed suicide. It was very hard to look at and very disturbing. I actually took over the job for a co-worker who couldn't do it. The pictures were from  the police who had found the body in the actual garage where the kid had hung himself, they had over 150 pics of all over the room and the note he left for his parents. 
all it said was " don't go in the garage, just call for help." and a cd under that which had a friend of his names on it and read "give to:  " it was very sad, the kid couldn't have been older then 17, it made today for me feeling sorry and wondering why some people choose to take their life...